Advice

The Facts About GAD

When you wake up every morning, you feel sick to the very pit of your stomach.

Your appetite is dwindled, with even your favourite foods no longer attracting you.

When you stand you feel dizzy. Your head often feels heavy and your legs like jelly, barely holding you up.

You cry all the time and constantly feel as though you are in one of those haunted house attractions, waiting for an actor dressed as some grizzly creature to jump out at you from behind the next wall.

You are living on the edge but you aren’t any racing fast cars. This adrenaline is certainly not the same as when you’re queuing for the biggest roller coaster at Alton Towers either. It’s always there. And you don’t really know why.

This is Generalized Anxiety Disorder, also known as GAD.

GAD is a physiological disorder that is often diagnosed in people who suffer from an excessive or unreasonable anxiety within everyday life. This level of ‘extreme worry’ can be extremely debilitating and disruptive to an individual’s life.

Everybody at one stage in their lives will suffer from Anxiety about certain aspects of their life. This can include worries about school or a job, a relationship and finances. But when that worry consumes a person to the point of causing them ill health and prevents them from living a healthy, happy life, it is often Generalised Anxiety Disorder that is orchestrating it.

You may just think you are ill or stressed out.

When I was diagnosed with GAD a few years back I just thought I had the flu but anxiety can make you feel like you are unwell.

So I thought some bite size information on GAD might help a few people looking for information.

 So, what causes GAD?

 Abnormal neurotransmitter levels within our brain are the reason for many anxiety disorders. They cause the brain to behave inappropriately as they control the nervous system. Neurotransmitters affect our mood, our concentration as well as our sleep and weight and when their levels are unbalanced, they can cause the number of anxiety related symptoms.

When it all boils down to it, our Brain Chemistry is the prime reason for Anxiety and Stress related illness.

But of course, Anxiety can be triggered or caused by a number of different factors. These can include:

Trauma

Stress

Side effects of certain medications

Genetics

Medical Conditions (This is why you should always have your GP diagnose Anxiety rather then assume that is what you have, just to make sure you are not suffering from a medical illness)

What are the symptoms of GAD?

There are a number of mental symptoms, which will lead to the diagnosis of GAD.

These, of course, will include excessive worry and anxious thoughts.

But many people find themselves confused by the other symptoms of Generalised Anxiety Disorder.

Here I’ll explain the science behind the most common GAD symptoms.

Headaches

An anxiety headache will most likely be caused by muscle tension. We have a number of different muscles not only in our head but our neck that we tense when anxious or under stress. This muscle tension can lead to muscle fatigue and aches. Your headache may also be caused by dehydration, as when we are suffering from anxiety, we tend to forget to stay hydrated and healthy.

High levels of stress and anxiety can also cause migraines. Remember to take the time to look after your health and keep hydrated! You can also use techniques such as mindfulness meditation to relax yourself, relieving headaches caused by tension and stress.

Nausea/Digestive Upsets (includes Acid Reflux, IBS etc)

High stress biology will cause the production of extra stomach acid as well as tension within the stomach muscles, which can throw your digestive system out of check and balance.

You can deal with this by eating little and often. You could also try taking a pro-biotic to maintain healthy bacteria within your digestive system.

Dizziness and Shaking

These symptoms are often caused by hyperventilation. People with anxiety will commonly over breath which means they will take in to much oxygen. This is also common with panic attacks. The best way to deal with this is to take deep, slow breaths in through the nose and slowly breath out through pursed lips as though you are blowing a dandelion. This will regulate your breaths and help you to calm down, therefore stopping you over breathing.

Depersonalization

This is often described as being in a dream like state. People with GAD will often feel detached from their own thoughts and wonder if they are going insane. This is purely because of anxiety causing an erratic nervous system. Using breathing techniques and grounding (I’ll do a blog post all about this) will really help you to relax and have a calmer mindset.

Easily tired/Insomnia

With anxiety, our brain is always on high alert and acts inappropriately to everyday worries. The best way to describe it is watching Horror films constantly. Your brain and nerves are on edge like some crazed, masked man called Mike Myers is going to jump out and chase you down the street. Because of this, people will anxiety disorders like GAD will feel emotionally exhausted. They may also find it hard to keep a regular sleep pattern or ‘wind down’, in turn leading to Insomnia.

Check my blog post on Insomnia to learn more about this and how to better deal with sleep disorders.

Other symptoms of GAD can include;

General Tension

Difficulty concentrating

Irritability

Being easily startled.

These are all caused by high stress biology.

If you or someone you know is suffering from GAD, share this post and encourage them to see their GP for a general health check and a proper diagnosis. This will also allow you to access various services, which could help you to deal with the disorder.

I really hope this blog post has helped anyone looking for more information and insight on GAD or anxiety in general.

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Advice, Lifestyle

5 Things I’d Tell My Teenage-Self

Growing up is never easy.

It’s commonplace to find your teenage years engulfed by angst and raging hormones.

Most people will remember those years fondly as they mature into relatively civilised adults. And some may do all they can to avoid reminiscing of such times. But you’ll almost certainly be who you are today thanks to your time as a teen.

It moulds you into who you are today. Every experience, good or bad, will have taught you a valuable lesson in life. And for that, we should always be grateful even if we wouldn’t necessarily choose to go back and do it all again.

As a 21-year-old, I understand I still have a lot more to learn in life.

But I also think I’ve changed a great deal since my years as an angry, moody and undoubtedly irritating teen.

There are a lot of things I feel I would have benefited from if someone had sat me down and told me about them way back when. And hopefully, a lot of you will be able to relate to it when you think back to your younger selves.

So, here you go, 5 things I’d tell my past self if I knew what I’ve learnt today.

Stand up for yourself.

Sometimes you can be a bit of a pushover. Remember, only you have the power to allow other people to belittle you. If you speak up and let your voice be heard, people will understand you mean business!

That doesn’t mean you have to be rude or obnoxious, though. Just don’t allow other people to speak down to you or make you feel less of a person than you are. Bullies prey on the venerable. Don’t give them the opportunity to upset you or stop you foing the things you love.

Be more confident!

Put your name down for school council! Sign up for drama classes! Start up a band!

Do all the things you are worried you’ll be judged for because other people’s opinion of you is none of your business.

At the end of the day, the only emotion you’ll feel will be regret for the missed opportunities you had a school. So what if people talk. Let them talk all. The only thing that matters is that you are happy and doing all the things you want to do!

STOP dyeing your hair black!

No seriously stop. I get you are going through the ‘emo’ stage and you think it’s really alternative and edgy, but you just look ill. The thick black eyeliner is also a no go zone. You look like you haven’t slept. Even My Chemical Romance would ask if you were OK.

Punky Fish isn’t the only shop in the world!

Let’s be honest. It’s not even real punk fashion. That furry purple jumper look’s like you’ve just skinned the Cookie Monster’s girlfriend. Also, Beetle Juice wants’ he’s stripy black and white trousers back. Just sayin’

Love yourself.

Ok, so I’ve insulted your fashion sense and your ‘emo’ inspired makeup/hair, but I’m telling you right now, if you learn one thing from high school, learn to love yourself.

Popularity and a big pair of knockers will not matter one iota in 5 years time. Enjoy every aspect of your personality. Understand that the only person who can make you feel comfortable in yourself is you. Embrace the awkward phase and the alternative clothing because if you want to dress outside the box, you’ve got to rock it with confidence.

Understand that people like you because of who you are and not who you are trying to be. The only person you want to impress is yourself.

So, to all the awkward, angst-ridden teens out there, understand there is no one else in the world quite like you. You are unique and amazing in every single way.

And I promise you, even though it feels like you don’t know who you are right now, you are not lost. You are just searching for your true self. And one day it will all make sense, the ups, the downs, the fights and the tears. They don’t last forever. One day you’ll see just how fantastic you really are.

G XO

Advice

We need to change the way we see Domestic Abuse.

The psycho girlfriend.

She’ll refuse to let you hang out with your best friends for fear you might cheat on her.

She’ll check your phone at least five times a day to see if you’ve ‘liked’ any other’s girl’s Instagram page.

She’ll phone you at least five times a day just to ‘check up on you’.

The truth is she’s the butt of a lot of jokes between both men and woman.

But the truth is, she really does exist.

If a male counterpart portrayed this behaviour, it would be far from a joke. Some would call it possessive. Other’s controlling and aggressive. And some may even refer to it as domestic abuse.

Yet, because the abuser in this example is female, nobody wants to take it as seriously.

Two in five of all victims who suffer domestic are men. For years, the image of an abusive relationship was played out with the female victim and a male abuser. We’ve seen it in films and TV shows. It’s an idea that society has implanted in our minds, warping the way we see and speak about Domestic Violence.

The truth is that men, who are facing domestic violence at the hand of their partner’s day in day out, are suffering in silence. Their fear and worry is shrouded by stigma. They feel they can’t speak out because of the backlash they may receive from other men and women.

If women speak up against domestic violence in social media, we applaud them. We tell them how strong they are. How wrong it is that they have been through such torture at the hands of the person they should have trusted most and rightly so.

But why is it that when a man comes forward to speak about his own experiences of domestic violence, he is referred to as ‘a pussy’. He’s told he needs to ‘get some balls’ or stand up for himself. It’s wrong. And it needs to change.

Male victims of domestic abuse continue to be overlooked. They are not portrayed in wider society. There are very few voices that represent them in the media. Did you know that the number of refugee places for men in England and Wales only stands at 60 compared to the 7,500 places for women?

It’s true that men are much less likely to come forward about domestic abuse than women. They often fear that law enforcers will be more likely to take the side of the female. They fear that their family and friends will see them as ‘weak’ and so they will often stay in abusive relationships for years, living in misery and fear. Society needs to change the way it sees domestic abuse and it needs to change now.

So what’s classed as Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse can come in various forms. It’s not just a physical act, which can make it even harder for men to recognise when they are in an abusive relationship.

It is classed as…

‘An incident or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (physiological, physical, sexual, financial and emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or are family members, regardless of gender of sexuality’

If you find your female partner controls or manipulates who you are friends with, this is classed as domestic abuse.

If you feel your partner emotionally blackmails you into doing things you are uncomfortable with or buying items for them you don’t want to buy, this is domestic abuse.

If your partner checks your phone regularly, this is domestic abuse!

You may not realise it because of the way society portrays domestic abuse. But if this is classed as controlling and abuse when a man does it to his female partner, then why not vice versa?

What can I do if my partner is abusing me?

Speak to someone you trust.

Speak to a family member or a close friend about your partner behaviour. Make them aware that you feel uncomfortable or worried. Not only will this trusted individual listen to your concerns, they may also support you in taking legal action against your partner.

Call a helpline

The NHS website recommends that if you don’t have anyone in your personal life to speak to, you should contact the Men’s Advice Line for help and support.

They spoke to over 800 male victims of domestic abuse in 2010. This helpline can refer you to local places in your area that can help you even further such as health services and voluntary organisations set up for people in similar situations, assisting and supporting you.

Speak to your doctor

If you feel unsure or concerned about calling a helpline or letting your friends know about your situation, speak to your doctor. Everything will be confidential and you won’t be judged by anyone. This will also mean you can speak without fear of your partner finding out if that is a concern.

It’s not always as easy as just walking away from the relationship. You will often have strong feelings for this person or may be terrified to leave for fear of further attack.

Remember;

Forms of Domestic Abuse;

Emotional Abuse

Where the person abusing you makes you feel…

Belittled

To blame for the abuse

They may also…

Deny they are abusing you

Isolate you from friends and family members

Makes unreasonable demands for attention

Threats and Intimidation

Where the person abusing you may…

Make threats against your life or hurt you

Threaten to harm themselves and blame you

Read your emails, texts or letters

Harass or follow you

Physical Abuse

Where the person abusing you…

Physically attacks or harms you in any way by invading your private space and causing you distress

Sexual Abuse

Where the person abusing you…

Touches you or forces you to do things you are not comfortable with.

Just know that you are not alone. There is support and help out there for you. You are not ‘weak’. You are strong and brave. You will get through this. Never give up hope.

Advice

5 Useful Ways to Deal with Anxiety Based Insomnia

When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep… and you’re never really awake.

Fight Club

Anyone who has ever suffered from Insomnia, either short term or long term, will know how frustrating it can be.

Like staying hydrated and eating nutritious foods, a healthy sleep routine is pretty essential to maintaining a positive lifestyle.

But what if you can’t seem to get the sleep you need?

What if, no matter how much you toss and turn you just can’t seem to get comfortable?

You’ve tried counting sheep and those wooly bastards are just driving you two stops away from insanity road.

You’ve tried a spot of reading, but not even 50 shades of Grey can send you into a plentiful slumber.

You are at a complete loss.

Insomnia is most commonly caused by stress and anxiety but can be a symptom of other mental illnesses such as depression and bipolar.

When we think of insomnia, we often think of a lack of sleep. But insomnia is also characterized by not obtaining a restful enough sleep, which in scientific terms, means you are not gaining enough rest within the REM stage (the deepest stage of sleep). You may believe you are sleeping well but will often have the typical symptoms of an Insomniac.

These symptoms can include:

  • Tiredness and sleepiness during the daytime
  • Irritability and feelings of anxiousness
  • Difficulty holding your concentration or attention to tasks
  • Forgetfulness
  • Increased errors within work/educational environments
  • Tension headaches
  • Digestive problems
  • Increased worry about sleep

If you are suffering from insomnia, you’ve probably been told a million times how you should be getting seven to eight hours of sleep. And if anything, it’s just raising your anxiety even higher.

So I’ll be speaking about 5 helpful tips that I’ve found can alleviate Insomnia both short term and long term.

(However, before you take up any of these tips, please remember to see your GP if you are finding it very difficult to function during the day with Insomnia. Your GP can do a health check to make sure you have no medical issues and can refer you for help either with a sleeping disorder or anxiety/depression.)

Download Calm App by Calm.com

This genius little app is an amazing find that I downloaded last year when my anxiety was keeping me up. I found it while researching mindfulness meditation.

You don’t need any silver balls or crossed legs to use this app so don’t let the word ‘meditation’ put you off.

It’s completely free to use, but you can purchase a monthly subscription, which allows you to access meditations specifically for certain problems (such as lack of confidence or sleep disorders)

But the free features are amazing by themselves and allow you to free your mind from current worries by creating a calm mindset in the present time. You can also change the time setting for your meditation session. A calm mindset will allow you to sleep better.

Set up a Sleep Routine

Set up a scheduled routine to commit to each night. This can include relaxing an hour or two before sleeping, making sure you turn off all electronically devices, drinking a hot drink and going to bed at a decent time (which is not necessarily your definition of a ‘decent time’)

You can write it up somewhere public so whoever you live with can encourage you to stick to it and you’ll also remember each stage until it becomes a force of habit.

Eat more Melatonin Foods

Melatonin is the hormone that helps us to sleep at night and regulates the time that we awake from our slumber. This hormone is like our own personal alarm clock, regulating our sleep naturally. Foods high in vitamin B6 allow our bodies to make Melatonin and Serotonin.

These foods include:

  • Bananas (also contains important amino acids and magnesium) *But watch out for spiders…
  • Oats
  • Tomatoes
  • Cherries
  • Pineapple
  • Sweet Potatoes
  • Brown Rice

And many more! Check this website for the full list.

You can mix some of these foods together for a healthy and delicious meal or snack (I recommend you don’t mix sweet potato with the banana and oats though…)

Go on a Digital Detox

Try and cut out computer and phone time before bed or even consider not using certain digital services (such as Facebook) for a longer period of time.

Our digital life’s can often lead us to distraction and cause unnecessary worry. It can also keep us switched on. You need to be able to be able to relax before sleep. Turning off your gadgets will also allow you to calm the constant activity in your brain. Added bonus, you don’t have to see what Julie from next door had for dinner the 4th time this week!

Don’t get your PJ’s in a twist!

If you can’t sleep, don’t toss and turn with worry for hours on end waiting for your alarm to go off. Get out of bed and do something. Read a book, draw a picture or knock on the neighbors walls because if you can’t sleep, no one else should be able to!!!

If you suffer from an anxiety disorder, insomnia can lead to anxiety surrounding sleep. You don’t want your negative perception of sleep to create the assumption that every time you try to sleep you won’t be able to, so the key here is positive reinforcement.

Think ‘I will be able to sleep’ rather than ‘I can’t sleep’.

It’s easier said than done and most people who suffer from insomnia get themselves into a mad circle they can’t seem to get out of. But there is hope!

Helpful links:

http://sleepfoundation.org

http://www.bupa.co.uk/health-information/directory/i/insomnia

G

Advice

What Society should learn from Robin William’s Life

Yesterday marked the year anniversary of Robin William’s passing.

When somebody in the public eye who is admired and loved by many passes, it’s always a desperately sad time, even more so when said person was known to be just as much a character in real life as their celebrity personas.

This was Robin Williams. I know this to be true because my Aunt shared a story not long after his passing, stating that as a youngster, a friend and herself had crossed paths with the late actor when she was still living in the USA. He was apparently very kind to them and even referred to them as his friends when his security was being over precautious.

Stories like this seemed to swamp the Internet when it was announced the actor has died at his Californian home in August 2014.

One of the sweetest stories referred to the friendship between Williams and fellow actor Christopher Reeve, who was involved in a horse riding accident in 1995. The story was about how, during Reeve’s recovery in hospital, Williams had paid him a visit dressed as an eccentric doctor with a strong Russian accent who stated he must perform a rectal examination of the actor. This was the first time since the accident that Reeve’s had laughed and realised, thanks to Williams, things were going to be okay.

Robin Williams really was the sweetest, most caring man in Hollywood. I get really emotional when I remember that such a talented and wonderful man was suffering through some of the darkest days of his life.

It was no secret that throughout William’s life he battled with addiction. This in turn had brought him to hard times and affected his mental health. Yet he had been able to beat it and had gone on to commit himself to 20 years of sobriety. But like most addictions, there is always the possibility of a person relapsing back into their old ways.

Reports stated that Williams had spent some time in a Treatment Centre before his death in order to focus on his commitment to staying sober. He was extremely proud of this, as anyone with an addiction will know how hard it is to become independent from his or her addiction.

It was stated not long after the announcement of Robin’s death that his suicide was as a result of a recent battle with severe depression, with information added at a later date that the actor has also been diagnosed with Parkinson’s.

It was very obviously the last straw for Williams. He could not take it any longer.

The thing about Robin William’s death is that he didn’t die from suicide. Yes, suicide was the direct cause on paper but what the actor really died from was an illness. Just like a terminal illness, severe depression can result in a person’s passing. Except, we as a society don’t seem to see it in the same way.

Depression isn’t a physical thing. You can’t see depression in the face of an individual the way you might see a person’s broken leg or chronic back pain.

Their pain is mental. It takes them to places that are so dark and full of despair that they can’t drag themselves out of it. It’s like falling down a muddy decline and haven’t no grip on the sides. You can’t pull yourself up and sometimes; other people can’t reach down to grab you either.

These people have often been fighting for a long time. There is no energy left in them to claw at the sides of that muddy pit anymore. They could see a little glimpse of sunshine at the top to start with, but they’ve sunk too deep and they don’t know how to wade through it.

People like Williams are so strong. Suicide is not cowardly. It’s not a sign of weakness. Suicide is often the last resort for so many who suffer from mental illness. People who haven’t experienced mental illness may not understand how dark Robin Williams mind was, how desperate he must have been to keep fighting but how tired and lost he eventually became. He felt he couldn’t carry on living his life the way it has been moulded for him by depression.

There is a lot we, as a society, should learn from Robin William’s life and passing. Although his death will never define his unimaginable colourful and beautiful life, it should open our eyes as human beings to why we need to change our perception of mental illness.

It should allow us to understand why judgement is not needed.

People with depression are in their own personal hell. Judgement is only emphasising the untrue perception they have of themselves. Those who suffer from depression need support and other people’s understanding. They need to know there are others routing for their recovery. They are NOT weak. They are lost and need those around them to shine a light back to the path they’ve lost sight off.

Williams passing should teach us that behind every smile, is a life we do not know of.

People who appear happy are usually the people most likely to be suffering from depression. They smile because our society has taught them to mask their true feelings. People like Williams gave so much happiness and light to other people lives but were unable to give it to themselves. Society needs to recognise that everybody is susceptible to depression. A smile does not necessarily reflect happiness in one’s life.

Celebrities are not exempt from mental illness either.

Many talented and successful people battle with depression and anxiety. I’ve seen a lot of judgemental comments about this subject. You don’t decide to have a mental illness. Depression doesn’t choose a person depending on their salary or lifestyle. Anyone can suffer from a mental illness at any point in his or her lives. Remember this.

It’s so sad we had to lose one of the biggest stars in Hollywood to understand how devastating mental illness can be on an individual. Let’s hope it helps to change people’s perception.

Advice

Misconceptions of Anxiety Disorders

Anxiety Anxiety is kind of like that friend who you know has your best interests but is actually REALLY clingy and slightly obsessive

Anxiety is a natural emotional response to anything that our brain deems as being dangerous. Referred to as the ‘fight or flight’ response, it was most useful back in the stone ages to prevent yourself becoming lunch for a hungry creature double your size.

Hormones, such as adrenaline, would prepare you physically to fight the creature or do a runner! In turn, this would make you feel more alert and ready your muscles for a WWE style smack down or a Mo Farah run, which would hopefully stop you from becoming a human kebab!

Thankfully, we don’t have to worry as much about creatures trying to feast upon us these days.

But these reactions to potentially dangerous situations are still prevalent and sometimes for good reasons. Without anxiety, we would literally all live our lives like members of the Jack Ass team. As an emotion, it allows us to approach situations with a levelheaded outlook.

‘Hey Bob, should I dangle my legs off this really tall cliff for the lol’s?’  

‘Hmm, not to sure about that Jim…Sounds dangerous to me’  

‘What’s the worst that could happen?’  

‘Well, you could slip and fall down the cliff to your death Jim’  

‘Yeah, that’s true Bob, better not try that then’

(In this situation, Bob is anxiety)

Anxiety will cause feelings of unease and fearfulness in many life situations from school exams and job interviews to illnesses or breakups. But for many people, these feelings will only be present during a small and reasonable length of time. These are normal emotional reactions that every person will and should feel.

An anxiety disorder refers to an exaggerated and prolonged response that affects an individual’s everyday life. It’s often hard for people to differentiate between suffering from an anxiety disorder or just undergoing a normal anxiety response because anxiety is such a common emotion.

But the two are very different.

There are many misconceptions about anxiety disorders and I’m going to talk about a few of the most common.

Only weak people get anxiety disorders.

You can be the strongest person in the world and still be struck down with an anxiety disorder. In all fairness, it’s usually the strongest and most confident people who suffer from anxiety disorders because they hide their emotions away. It’s a bit like kids films where someone would keep putting stuff under their bed and pretending it wasn’t there until the bed touched the bedroom ceiling.

People who suffer with mental health problems are often ashamed. Society has lead us to believe we have to put a smile on our faces all the time and pretend to be something we are not. This leads to high levels of stress, which will eventually lead to anxiety disorders.

At this point, people are often left confused. ‘Oh I never knew so and so was having such a hard time! I thought they were really strong’.

People deal with situations in very different ways. We don’t always know people’s stories or what their lives are truly like. Try not to judge.

Only people with anxiety disorders have panic attacks  

Panic attacks are a common symptom of high anxiety but are not always prominent with anxiety disorders. Specifically, anxiety disorders like Generalised Anxiety Disorder are more commonly diagnosed due to other less obvious symptoms such as insomnia, loss of appetite and obsessive thoughts.

Panic attacks are a physical reaction to anxiety and regular panic attacks will usually lead to a diagnosis of Panic Disorder (an anxiety disorder which consists of excessive panic attacks). But as stated, they are not always a symptom of an anxiety disorder and a panic attack can happen with or without mental health problems being present (such as the first time someone performs on a stage).

Anxiety Disorders can only be treated with medication

Medication should always be a last resort when it comes to anxiety but you should always decide what works best for you. In the short term, anti-anxiety medication can help you to obtain a better mindset in order to use other techniques.

However, there are lots of alternative techniques that can be used to get on top of an anxiety disorder and medication will often have it’s own side effects which should always be discussed in length with your GP.

Medication free treatments include:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

Mindfulness Meditation  

Counselling  

Breathing Techniques  

and Hypnosis (and others)

You should always fight anxiety!

Anxiety isn’t something you should fight against, but rather work alongside to control. When you fight anxiety, it often gets worse. Anxiety thinks it’s doing you a favour because, after all, it’s protecting you from ‘harm’. Specific treatments such as exposure therapy will allow you to face your fears a little every day and stay on top of your anxiety disorder.

Anxiety disorders are not easy to deal with. They often make you feel like you’re a prisoner to your own mind but getting the right help and support can allow you to do all the things you love and not feel as though your anxiety disorder defines you. You should never feel alone as 1 in 4 people in the UK will suffer with an anxiety disorder at some stage in their lives.

Keep strong!

Georgia OX

Mind http://www.mind.org.uk

Mood Juice http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/anxiety.asp

Advice, appreciate, blogger, Georgia Coan, jealousy, love, mainstream, Media, moan on a monday, mondays, positive, success, thatgeorgianextdoor, women jealousy, women vs women

Moan on a Monday #1: Women VS Women

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Jealousy. When it comes to what attribute is most likely to turn off the opposite sex, the green monster usually comes out top trumps.

It’s an emotion that many of us will be faced with at some stage in our lives.

‘Bob next door just bought a brand new Range Rover. I’m so jealous!’

‘Maggie’s just bought a villa in the Maldives! It’s so unfair!’

These are what I would count as normal jealousy responses. They don’t really affect your lives nor the lives of those who you are jealous of.

Women on woman jealousy, however, is another thing entirely (and no this is not the title of a new Porn Hub movie).

It’s not a new phenomenon, but it is something that appears to be more prevalent in mainstream society.

Some women find it extremely hard to appreciate other women.

Whether it’s for their success, their looks or their lives in general, these people often find that turning their hand to some internet trolling (often in the case of celebrities or internet stars) or speaking negatively about other woman will make them feel better about themselves.

We all know that this type of jealousy stems down to insecurity. Pretty much every woman has their insecurities. Not every human is perfect and we shouldn’t destroy our self-esteems trying to strive for something which doesn’t have a distinct definition. But’s that is exactly what woman are doing when they show hatred and jealousy towards other woman!

Come on ladies, don’t we have enough to worry about!

It seems completely insane to me why, as women, we can’t stand by each other rather than against one another.

Can we not hand another woman a compliment without feeling that it is somehow demoralising to our own self-worth?

Are we not capable of appreciating the beauty or success of another woman without the bitterness of jealousy thrown in to measure?

I was watching ‘The Only Way is Essex’ the other day (try not to judge). A number of the female cast were making fun of another cast member not only for the way she spoke but also, for the way she looked.

Now, these ladies would probably argue you to the grown about how ‘so not jealous’ they were of this individual, but I can’t really understand why you would put so much energy into hating someone if they weren’t?

Jealousy and hatred are time wasting

It must be so tiring being constantly hateful and jealous of other people.

It’s time and effort you could be transferring into something more productive and positive. Negativity is draining and detrimental  in all its integrity.

When you praise and hold up other woman, you’ll find that more people will look up to you and hold you in higher esteem. Positive energy breeds. We need to admit as woman we are often self-conscious, but not allow it to taint the way we behave towards others.

Woman have enough enemies out there in the form of destructive and harmful media (which create more insecurities) without turning on each other like a pack of wild animals without a decent meal.

These emotions can hold women back.

Let’s stop being so negative and start appreciating and admiring woman. It’s important that we show compassion and love for one another, not just for ourselves but our future generation.

Let’s spread the love!

Georgia