Advice, Lifestyle

5 Ways to Spot a Feminist

If David Attenborough encountered one, he would get as low to the ground as possible and use his whispering voice as not to disturb one.

An avid wildlife watcher might grab his binoculars to sneak a peak at it’s rarity, approaching with caution, for he knows how dangerous this species can be when provoked.

And if you are a part of the male breed, may we pray for you and your children.

Feminism.

It’s a scary subject for many. If the word is mentioned in passing conversation, both men and woman tend to recoil into foetus positions while shaking their heads, wide eyed and agitated.

Feminists are so dangerous, they have been known to scare full grown men from their Twitter accounts and bring down global corporations.

So I have created a post about 5 ways in which you lovely lot at home can spot one of these ‘feminists’


1. Weapon of choice; THE BRAZOOKA!

Many have faced it’s prettifying potential. Once fully armed with a brazooka, the feminist is invincible. With wire so sharp and strong, it can gauge a sexist pig’s eye out a mile away, the feminist attaches the weapon to it’s arm and wings it around it’s hair for maximum impact when one is struck in the head.

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2. Hairy and Scary

These specimens are rarely aimed with a razor unless they are trying to cut a member of the opposite sex. They may have never visited the Australian Bush, but they know about the one they rock everyday. Razor’s were created by the feminist’s worst enemy. As far as they are concerned, Gillette Venus is a dictatorship.

3. DON’T MAKE THEM ANGRY, you won’t like them when they are angry!

A feminist will often be revealed to you during a heated conversation about 50 Shades of Grey. You may notice it’s pupils dilate, it’s lips pursed as it get’s ready to attack. It’s skin may begin to flush a burgundy shade as it jumps from it’s seat, armed with a collective resource of information regarding the topic of female oppression within the film industry.

You may want to duck, for glasses can be thrown.

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4. All Men Must Cry

If feminists appeared in Game of Thrones, all MEN would suffer at their peril, even Jon Snow D:

Please watch out men, Feminists are potentially destructive to all of society. Theories show that they may be harbouring new technology which allows them to support themselves without the assistance of the male species. THE HORROR D:

5. FEM-fastic

All members of the Feminist collective are females. Vee-jay-jay’s as far as the eye can see. Nope, no men to be seen here. They are in hiding. Poor things.


If at this point you have not realised that at least 95 per cent of this post was pure sarcasm, then I apologise for any offence.

The truth is, of course, that feminists can NOT be spotted.

They are in fact average members of society.

Many Feminists, strangely enough, fight for equality between men and woman rather then superiority.

Feminists are everywhere you look. They are both men and woman.

And they don’t bite.

There is no need to be afraid of them.

Honestly.

They fight for gender equality, to shape a fair future for our children and to make the world a better place.

That’s how to spot a true feminist.

hfs-collage

http://www.heforshe.org


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